1. How to Avoid Selling Out to Your Pain

In times of pressure, pain or intense need, we can make poor decisions that will impact us  long term. In this series we unpack an interesting Bible story where Esau sells out to his own hunger and makes a decision that changes his life. Learn keys that will help you become a better decision maker when the sound of your distress seems louder than the voice of reason.

Transcript

Hey, I'm Josh Hallmark. And I want to thank you for listening to one of the Oaks podcast. Remember this message from Isaiah chapter 61. God takes the seeds of brokenness and turns them in the Oaks of righteousness. And that's you. I want to share a story with you guys today and the title of my talk. This will be been a series where this is a new talk, and I'm at least going to talk about this this week and we'll see. We'll see what happens in two weeks. But the title of my talk is how to avoid selling out to your pain on others. That's a mouthful. How to Avoid selling out your pain. And I want to read you guys a story. If you have your Bibles go to the book of Genesis, chapter 25. And I know I didn't mean to Genesis chapter 25. And I'm going to read you guys a story from Genesis 25. And let me introduce you to a couple characters. We've got some twin brothers, we're having twins in here. We do have twins. We have some whose oldest. Okay, all right. So, so we've got twin brothers named Jacob, and Esau. And we're going to learn just a little bit about about their story today. So let me read to Genesis chapter 25. And I'm gonna start reading inverse 19 and you can just listen if you'd like this Is the account of Abraham son Isaac. Abraham became the father of Isaac, and Isaac when Isaac was 40 years old. He married Rebecca, the daughter of Beth ul, the Armenian from padam era, right around the corner from here, and the sister of Laban. Isaac prayed. So you guys understand just a little context. Abraham could not have children. He and his wife couldn't have children. And God promised Abraham that through his seed, he's gonna bless all nations. This huge, epic promise on that's for another talk, another sermon. But then he ended up having Isaac, Abraham. He was a wealthy man. By the way, the Bible says that God really added to his estate. And so Abraham was such a force that when he came to Egypt, or to this other guy, name of emelec, he lied about his wife. In a sister because he thought they were going to take her. And anyway, he, Abraham was a formidable, formidable enough person to wear that when he went to Egypt or to bimala, or whatever Benelux land was, he got to talk to the top people that just lets you know, sort of the grander that Abraham had. He was walking large, if you will. And the Lord had really blessed him. And so Isaac is his son, so he couldn't have kids and then all of a sudden, okay, he does have a son, he has Isaac, he goes and gets Isaac a wife. And so as it gets married to Rebecca, the Bible actually says they went into the tent and got married. And so that's what the Bible says, actually his mom's tent, it says, which is interesting enough, but let me get my glasses here. So it says Abraham became the father of Isaac. And then Isaac prayed to the Lord on behalf of his wife, because she was barren. So this is the same condition that that said, had had his mother had had before him. And it says the Lord answered his prayer. This is really neat. I've taught you guys a lot about using somebody else's testimony, to have faith to see God do the same thing in your life. And Isaac actually had it happen with his dad, right? He was a product of God intervening with that particular issue. And anyway, it says Isaac prayed on behalf of his wife because she was begging the Lord answer the prayer. And his wife, Rebecca came pregnant, the baby's jostled within IJA within her, and she said, what is happening to me? The bait Yeah, you guys are tracking with me. They're having a wrestling match inside her tummy. And instead of just saying, Oh says that she inquired of the Lord. Man, you just never know if you'll stop ask God. What's going on? He might answer you and this is what the Lord said. two nations are in your womb and two people From within you will be separated. One people will be stronger than the other, and the older will serve the younger. Then the time came for her to give birth. And there there were twin boys in her womb. The first came out and was read and his whole body was like a hairy Garmin. Whoo. Mom was like, whoa. So you know what I named him? They named him he saw which means, Harry. What do you like that? Yeah. So anyway, after this, his brother came out with his hand grasping, he saw his heel. And so he was named Jacob. You know what Jacob means? heel grabber. Well, they really got creative on the names, didn't they? So you gotta read as funny because, you know, the Hallmark family. There's a cousin of mine and his name is Jackie but also I called him red. And that's exactly what happened. We do nicknames. That's what I did with him said they named him red. They name him Esau. And then Jacob came out grasping the hill. And this is also a metaphor. I don't know why he'll grabbers a metaphor for deceiver. And so you guys probably knew that already about Jacob. But anyway, um so this is what it says. After his brother came out with his hand grass was healed I named him Jacob. Isaac was 60 years old when Rebecca gave birth to them. Now we're quickly moving along in their life and they are the subject of our story right now. The boys grew up so you can imagine these two boys we got Harry And oh, by the way, he was red I told you how to my my cousin name red. People call so I saw his name was Harry or Harry. Esau means Harry, but they also called him eat them. And that means red. So he had his name Harry and then his nickname red. And so I'll try to imagine, you know, either he had red hair, or you have somebody people have freckles all over him. Maybe he was red like that. And so, anyway, the boys grew up and Esau became a skillful Hunter, a man of the open country. Sounds like a man's man, doesn't he? He saw became a man of the open country, while Jacob was a quiet man. Staying among the tense playing fortnight. Right. Isaac, who had a taste for wild game as the dad right, Isaac had a taste for a while game loved the saw. But Rebecca, love Jacob. It's already sounds like we got a little dysfunction going On the family, right? So Isaac knows it. I mean, he saw his dad's favorite. And Jacob his mom's favorite. You know, Jacob was a mama's boy, he saw was a daddy's boy. And anyway, one thing I love, I just love this about the Bible. Like if you read this story to start in Genesis, and the book of Genesis is so rich, you have God moving in these people's lives, and you just see over and over all kind of just dysfunction and God somehow maneuvers around it. And you don't want to leave dysfunction in your life. I want to talk about that in a little while. But it is also amazing to know that God moves within the midst of real people, which we are right. So anyway. It says the boys grew up Esau became skillful Hunter. And then once Okay, once so we've got the story then being born, got their names. We've got the story, that kind of okay. Jake, he salsa he's a hunter. Jacob hangs out with the tense and and then the very next thing after it says that Jacob or Rebecca love Jacob so he's Mama's boys hanging out with tans for Hannah. Ladies are hanging around there right? And Jacob was cooking some stew so the very next thing you say okay, as I mean Esau Hans Jacob cooks, okay. He probably learned that from his mom. Jacob was cooking some stew. Esau came in from the open country. famished he said to Jacob, quick, let me have some of that red stew. I'm famished. This is why he was also called eat them. So apparently. So Ito means read and I think he saw had read hair or something like that. But also this stew was rare. This was lentil soup. And it has a red hue to it sometimes. And anyway, um, it this is called eat them soup. I don't know, this is like maybe Esau really loved this soup. It was, you know, like gingers grandmother. They have psalter soup. That's her grandmother's name. That's why they call it so this is kind of her trademark. So maybe Esau really loved this soup. I called it eat him soup, you know, because that was his nickname. I don't know, something like that. We're not quite sure. But anyway, Jacob apparently knew that he saw like this suit. And he saw comes in from the he comes in from the open country. And he's famished. And I think that this is, this is different than like, you skipped breakfast and you're really looking forward to the chinese buffet. Well, maybe not the chinese buffet during COVID. But anyway, you're looking forward to, to, you know, you're really hungry. But when it says he's famous, I think he was actually a very hungry and. And so, anyway, he said I'm famished This is why also why it's called eat him. Jacob replied first sell me your birthright. Esau comes from the open field he's hungry. And Jacob's cooking. He says Can I have some of your food brother? And Jacobs like I tell you what, I'll make a deal with you. I'll trade some of my famous eat them soup. My little stew. I'll trade this for your birthright. Initially, I'm thinking Are you joking? You guys know? I'm a business person, right? When I read a store that I went out initially read this story. Like, it bothers me. It bugs me. I'm like four Have you ever feel like somebody's you know? Like they you know how so it's To me, it's the same thing that evokes like when there's a disaster and people price gouging. You know, I'm saying a roll of toilet paper $50 or something like that. It's like they're taking advantage of the situation. Does that mean does that make anybody mad? You know, you know, I'm saying like, it evokes something in you, and this is what I feel out. But here's the deal. Esau, um, he said, this is what he said his art. What do you say when somebody says, Okay, I'll give you that roll of toilet paper for $50 What do you say? No, thank you, right? Um, I'll use my hand. That's no, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I just slipped out. Okay. Esau said, Look, I'm about to die. What good is my birthright To me, but Jacob says Swear to me first. So he sworn an oath. This went from I'm really really hungry. Give me some lentil soup all of a sudden to a business transaction. And uh, you know, he says like, whatever I'm hungry Give me food he did not slow down the thing at all. And all he was thinking about was a right now. And Jacob gave Esau. This is the verse Jacob gave Esau some bread and some lentil stew. Esau ate and drank. And he got up and left. That moment was over. And this is the this is the writer of Genesis. This is Moses. opinion, if you will, over what just happened and so Esau despised his birthright. What does this mean? So in ancient culture, the firstborn son has the full rights of the man of the house. This are called the, the tribal groups they had. They're called a bit a bit. It was like there was a patriarch, he was in charge. But especially for the women, they depended on the men to like protect them if they were in one of these. This is why women it was really important for them to have children and be married and if they weren't married to have children, because if they had a son, that son would assume that roll of the top of the eighth and he could protect her right it was their social where welfare, if you will, so this is a big deal. Um, one of these guys is going to be in charge. When Isaac dies. Guess who the Right goes to the firstborn. Because the first more so even though they were born twins, that was just that's the tradition. Jacob says, If you give me the right Oh, one more thing to know about this. So when, when they would transfer the rights of authority, also two thirds of the inheritance goes to the firstborn. It's like you're going to have the responsibility, but you're going to get a bigger share of the inheritance to go along with that responsibility. So they got authority and they got stuff money. And so Jacob says that he saw I'll give you some of my famous itam suit. If you'll Trade Me your birthright and this light me up. Don't you guys feel a little bit sorry for Esau? Lucky, poor thing, being taken advantage of like that. And that's how I feel like I feel Why did you do that man? And when I was journaling about this, I asked the Lord about this. A lot of times when I'm reading the Bible, if a verse stands out to me, I just write that verse down. And I'll say, Lord, what do you think about this verse? And I felt the Lord spoke to me. And one of the things the Lord said to me was don't judge eat them so quickly, or don't judge he saw so quickly. And so I began to just think about this just a little bit, I began to think about why is he why would Why would you do this? Why would somebody sell out I mean, guys, this is much worse than given. $50 for roll toilet paper. You can do that and survive, right? You can go watch an armour game pay $10 for coke and $10 for candy bar and $10 but you'll be okay at the end of the day right? But this is different than you actually sell now, two thirds of your parents stay. Right. And authority was not just it was a monetary inheritance, but it was also a positional inheritance. And it says that Esau despised his birthright, he did not value what he had been given. He did not see the benefit the value of what he had, because it was something that he had in the future. And some of us and this is the point is that we sell out our destiny. I want you to hear this point. It's probably most important thing I'll say. We sell out our destiny. Which is tomorrow because of the cry of our own pain, which is today. Um, when I was journaling about this, I felt like the Lord said that Esau was hungry. So he traded his temporary relief for his inheritance. And a law was telling me to give Esau some credit, he was hungry. It could potentially could have been days since Esau had eaten. And this is one thing I was wondering. I was just thinking more about this. So Esau goes on this hunting trip, right? So we know later in the story that he hunts deer, he's a deer hunter Rob, and he hunt. He goes to hunt deer. I just wonder like how did he get into the situation where he was famished. Rob when you go on the deer stand and you get really hungry. What do you do? You eat your Snickers bar. Okay? So you take a snack. But you could also just go home and eat kidney. And I was thinking about Esau. How did he get in a place where he's famis? I was just thinking, I don't know, my thoughts just started going. Maybe Esau was a maybe he had this thing where he really really you know, he was his dad's favorite, but maybe he didn't really get that. And he thought that he couldn't come home empty handed. Maybe he saw the, the elusive. I don't know what kind of deer out there what kind of innocent but the elusive deer that he was hunting. And it went a little further and then went a little further a little further. And finally, he was a long way from home. And maybe after the first day he could tuck that out right? And then go home but he didn't and I just thought he got into a position Where he all of a sudden realized, I'm starving? I can't put this off anymore. And here's something I want you guys to understand is that we have needs but I'm not what was driving him to continue to deprive themselves of what was would sustain him. We all have needs. I hope you all know that. You have a need. You have a need for food. You have a need for intimacy. We all have needs right. And here's the deal. Sometimes we're driven so we're driven so much on one thing that we don't realize we're neglecting our needs and we get bent out of shape. My kids not watch a movie last night where somebody um, their house when in foreclosure because her husband was killed in combat. In our houses in foreclosure, and she got into a place of great need, because if she missed one more payment, her house is gonna be foreclosed on. And they're gonna bring the sign and put it in there that might be a little more dramatic for the movie. But she decides to go to this local pawn shop. And she gets alone for like $800 to cover her mortgage. And the guy says, that's fine. It'll be do the complete amount will be due in two weeks, and you only pay a low price of 38%. You guys know what the current mortgage rates are right now? About 3% right, some less than that you can refinance for 2.75% this guy was charging her 38% but what happened because like me, I'm like, Don't do it, honey. Don't do she ended up selling her wedding ring. I think maybe in exchange for the porn or something like that. Don't do it as a movie, but I knew it was gonna be okay in the end. Just because most movies are, um, but a long story short, is when we get into a place of deprivation, that is when we make epically stupid mistakes. And this is what happened with Esau and this is what I'm trying to say is that if you don't care for yourself, and I'm about to get into this, you don't care for yourself, you will get yourself into a position where you do something drastic that directly cost your future. And this is what happened to Esau. And this is why I'm saying at first I just thought he was stupid. And he does seem a little bit up to CS. Jacob was definitely more refined in his thinking that he saw was but he was a skilled Hunter. So this guy, he is not like He didn't have any assets. He had some things going for him. His dad, he loved the taste of that venison that he brought. But when we get ourselves into a place of deficit, we often can lose sight of what's really important. So here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna give you guys four things that will help you Oh, man. I'm gonna tell you point number one, okay? I'm just gonna give you one point I got four. I'm gonna give you one out, maybe give me the other three in two weeks. Okay. I don't want to just rush through these I want. Number one. This is what Jacob had that he saw did not have his number one is this. Extend your vision. You have to have the capacity to see that your life is headed in a direction If you know what you want, then you have to be willing to. You have to be willing to see what you want, so that you can pursue the thing that you want. Because if you don't pursue the vision that God has for your life, you will pursue somebody else's vision by default. And that's exactly what happened that he saw. He was in a moment of crisis, the unknown what it's like, when you don't have any money. You don't know how you're gonna pay the bills. That is the moment to say what is my vision for who I want to be? Because having a say, look, Jacob, Esau was only thinking about right now. And the cry of his pain was loud. What can I do to find relief? Oh. Often we trade relief in the temporary for destiny in the future. God wants to give us relief right? The Holy Spirit is the Comforter, he knows RNA we got we have needs. And I'll tell you just a little peek from the future. If you don't fulfill your needs in legitimate ways you will ultimately fulfill them in and legitimate ways. It's because our needs were made for our needs to be met. So it's really important that you have a vision for fulfilling your needs in a way that is legitimately sanctioned by God. This is what the Bible says. And I'm gonna just try to land on this one point. It's just where there is no revelation, people cast out for strange, but Blessed is He needs wisdom instructions. Here's another translation, that same verse, where there's no vision the people perish. He that keeps the loss happy. In other words, when you have vision, let me just go back to jack ma software just second. JACK Jacob thought that that birthright was valuable. No, I was talking about earlier about looking for arrowheads. If you're looking for Arrowhead, you're gonna find a airhead. Jacob had already determined that he wanted the birthright. He'd already determined that that was important that it was something of value. In fact, Jacob valued the birthright much more than he saw value the birthright. Jacob saw that it was valuable. I mean, you guys understand something. The Bible says that Abraham gave gifts to all his other children. But Isaac, he gave all of his estate. This is a big, big deal. And Esau is in line to get that. And Jacob took it, because he saw did not value G. This is the difference in Jacob and Esau said Jacob had vision. You guys know what Jacob's name was eventually change to Israel. Yeah. It's pretty cool. So there was a nation. Rebecca's tummy likes yet you know, she inquired of the Lord. And actually there became a place not quite as famous as Israel, but a place that was called eat them. Guess who started that place? He saw. So anyway, there's a rest of the story. I can't tell you there right now. But Jacob was able to see. And this is something y'all if there's a maturity continuum, like little kids, they only see right now mature adult and see a connection between what I want and where I'm going and my actions and where they're leading me. Jacob was climbing that that curve. That was he did it in the wrong way, didn't he? But he lied. He was conniving the Lord did actually do with that. But the Bible says that Esau despise his birthright. And and Jacob is looked upon favorably. After all, God has associated himself with their name. They go of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. So let me ask you a question today. Can you look beyond where you currently are in the need that you currently feel? Lord, I just feel so alone right now. That is not the time to shack up with somebody. That is not the time to go on a date with somebody who's not know Jesus. Lord, I feel so lonely. That's not the time to go to a pornographic website. I mean, there never is a time for that. But I'm telling you, it is in the cry of your need, that you actually sell out your birthright. What if I told you that you have a glorious inheritance in the saints, that you have a glorious inheritance? What if I told you that you were co heirs with Jesus Christ? you actually are is that mazing you are a co heir with Christ. But do you know what the Bible says? What do you think about inheritance? This is crazy. This is so great. Tell your neighbor say what he's about to say is crazy. Galatians chapter six. I'll tell you how to remember the ordered Bible is go eat popcorn. That's Galatians Ephesians Philippians Colossians. We're going to go listen to this. This is Galatians chapter four, this verse a little bit stronger because no, I'm not trying to be too strong here. But Paul says, live by the Spirit you won't gratify the desires of the sinful nature for the simple nature desire what's contrary to spirit spirits contrary simple nature. This is this the acts of the sinfulness. are obvious. Like in other words, don't do this this is bad. And then you reach what they are sexual immorality. sexual immorality is the desire to meet a need for sex right that's that need is there but it does is it is an illegitimate way. It's not under the the sanction of marriage. So sexual immorality, impurity, debauchery This is like, like party and drunk in this kind of lewdness it says idolatry that's worshipping some other God right? witchcraft this could also be control hatred. Hatred is you know hating someone discord these are works of the flesh Discord. You know some people are always picking fights with people around them. This is a work of the flesh. I mean, understand that some people stir up trouble wherever they go. They don't have discord written over their forehead. That is a work of the flesh. What I want you guys to get what I'm getting to the selfish ambition This is like I've got to have my this service and ambition is not a bad thing but seven investor I've got to have mine I've got to make it happen um so it was ambition of the dissensions factions these are all dividing type things envy, drunkenness orgies and the like I warn you this is the part I want you guys to hear. warn you. I got to prepare you for this. Tell your neighbor this say he's about to say the word inheritance. Say remember Jacob got the inheritance. Remember Esau despised the inheritance. Okay and then we'll finish reading. It says this. I warn you Just kind of a strong word Paul Paul sent out a warning isn't say that that often you send a warning, as I did before. In other words, I've already told you this, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. Now, the kingdom of God is heaven, but it's also all the resources of heaven. The kingdom of God, Jesus taught more about this anything else, The kingdom of God is healing. Its deliverance. Its wrongs being righted, it's think it is wholeness, the kingdom of God. When Jesus came, he brought peace, patience, gentleness, kindness, goodness, this is all the kingdom of God. And Paul saying, Look, I've warned you guys before and I'm telling you this again, that if you live like that, you will not inherit the kingdom of God. So that's heaven, but it's also the resources of heaven. policy these all those things, it is the short answer to the crying pay. And what I want to do is I want you to lift your vision higher and to say, my temporary delaying of gratification, to be able to do something in a legitimate way is worth the inheritance that I will receive in the future. Guys, this is not easy. Kevin pross says one of my favorite worship leaders, he said I become he said I become so I become deaf to everything except the cry of my own pain. This is not this is what happened that he saw. He saw became deaf. It came Deaf to the big picture because of the cry of his own pain. But I want you to understand that the Lord I'm gonna tell you two weeks how to do repaying okay, but I gotta quit talking But I want you to know first of all if you will lift your vision but look beyond the pain guys look beyond the need the legitimate need that you have right now and know that you can meet that need and that God can meet that need in a legitimate way. Annabel, you come on up just to say guys, I'm sorry I lost my Can y'all stand with me? All right. So guys, this what Jesus said, Well, God knows what your needs are before you ask him. He knows that we have needs. He knows that we have pain, y'all know that. But he wants us to come to him to have that man. My mom says, we all got baggage. And this is true. We do. We've all got issues. So to Jacob so to de saw, but God would like to legitimately meet our needs, but it starts with us saying, hey, Lord, my inheritance is worth waiting for my inheritance. My destiny is worth doing things right for now. Don't want to trade. This say this with me. Would you say so? Let me say, Lord, I don't want to trade. I just promise you guys that God has something for you. He's gonna take care of you. He has a glorious inheritance for you. is worth waiting on. It's glorious. So this is what Jesus said, when you pray, don't keep battling like the pagans, they think they'll be heard because all their words, don't be like them for the father knows what you need before you ask him. And then he says this, he says, I want you to pray like this. This is the next thing he says. So he's given us words to pray. And I would like for us to do this together, and then we're gonna make some declarations before we go today. say this with me. Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Say this when we say in my life as it is in heaven. Here's our needs. Right? Give us today, our daily bread. And forgive us our deaths. So in other words, we know we've done it wrong, but forgive us for that. And we also forgive those who've done it wrong against us. So let's say this and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. You see, the devil tries to tempt us with lentil soup, doesn't he? But Lord, we asked you to deliver us from the evil war. Now, let's make these declarations together. You ready? God is good. God sees me. God is with me. Jesus will never leave me. God is a good father. God knows what I need before I even ask. I know I am righteous because of Jesus. As from last week. I have the peace of God. I can pray and see results. God has given me vision for my life. I'm pressing my pain into God. And God is meeting my needs. Here's a bonus one. I'm gonna rock this day. You can believe that. Amen. Well, I just want to pray this over you guys before we go. Hoping y'all have an amazing week. Remember, next Sunday. Don't come here. Go somewhere else. That's fine. May the Lord bless you and keep you make his face shine on you. returned to you, be gracious to you and give you peace. I just want you to know God is compassionate towards your pain. Like when I was accusing Esau, just in my own mind, I felt like the Lord said Josh, you need to give him some credit. He made a bad mistake. There was something that was crying but I just want you to know that in the midst of that pain cry, God can still meet your need and intervene. You don't have to do it in the wrong way you can do it in the right way. You know, have an awesome week. Bless you guys. Bless you guys love y'all. For more information, visit the OIC dot o RG. Thanks for listening

Transcribed by https://otter.ai