The Oaks Interactive, Episode 8, How to Intelligently Love

This Mother's Day message includes 3 tips on how to love your mom, your wife, and others you value in an intelligent way.

Transcript

Good morning oaks family. Hope you guys are having a good Sunday so far. We'll, this is week number eight in the Oaks interactive and we're gonna have a great time today. I'm going to give you some tools today to help you love others. We'll get into that in just a minute. First, remember this. This is our church service. So gather your family, it's good if you can slow down and take some time to think about the things that we're talking about today. Look for something that the Lord loves to share with you if you can, any sermon, any, any talk that you're listening to anything that you're reading, if you can always think if there's one thing you could pull away from it helps you make incremental changes in your life. So anyway, Yeah, so listen, let me say this. Happy Mother's Day. All our mothers at church. We love you guys. Thank you for who you are. Thank you for what you do. And I have a talk with you guys in mind today. So let me get into that right away. Today what I want to talk to you guys about is how to do Mother's Day. How to do well, I'm going to give you some tools. I have an alternate title. It's how to intelligently love. And I remember when I was back at youth with a mission our school leader would say what is an intelligent application of love that was a phrase that he used. And today is what I want to give you as an intelligent application. Anyway, How to intelligently love your mom, your wife and in general rock as a human being. What I'm going to share with you today is really going to help you in your interpersonal relationships. But our moms and and wives, the mothers of our children, were I'm in this talk at you guys this morning. So let's look at the word in first john chapter three, verse 14. The Bible says we know that we have passed from death to life, because we love each other. Anyone who does not love remains in there. So this is paramount for us that we learn to love. We're gonna stand at the end of our life when we stand before Jesus. And he's gonna wander he's gonna ask he's gonna probe did we learn To love that we learn how to love because this is what God is like. The reason God loves us so much is because it's who he is, because he is love. And so when we pass from death to life, he wants us to learn how to love. So going back to my question, how do we intelligently love? Well, that's what we want to find out. That's what we want to do today. And so, here's what I want to do. I want to give you three points, basically, three ways to to bless your mom today or to bless the mother of your children today, three things and hopefully, there'll be some takeaways for everyone else too. But um, the first thing you want to do today on Mother's Day is you want to thank them and I don't just mean say thank you. I mean, you want to thank them. I mean, you do want to say thank you. You don't want to just say thank you what you want to be grateful for them. And a talking point I want to make here is that where empathy enables us to recognize someone else's plight, like we're empathetic, we recognize what somebody else is going through. And it's tough gratitude or being thankful. It actually enables us to recognize someone else's effort. And when we look at mom's Look, it's one thing for you to say Thanks, Mom. To your mom or to the mother of your children is one thing to say that but it's another thing to be that and great Attitude enables you to be thankful for your wife, for your mom. I know that we have some single moms. And some of you guys that things I'm saying it would be great maybe if you guys could call each other and practice this stuff on one another just in general by just saying thank you, uh, being grateful being able to step into someone's shoes and appreciate their effort. And you know what, what moms do or moms do? quite a bit. You know, one thing that moms do is they look out for the basic needs. That's what moms did for us when we were little, we couldn't care for our sales or our moms did that. I put clothes on us. They fed us Moms think about us when we're not thinking for ourselves. Moms teach, right? passing on how to live knowledge and another thing that moms really do is they nurture. They show love they create safety. And moms we want to say thank you for that. But when it comes to recognizing other moms, like for the dads or for or for the children, you want to see that your mom actually she did a lot, a lot for you. And, you know, sometimes moms and a lot of times actually in this day and age Moms are there working moms, they're they're working at the same time that they're trying to do other things. And anyway, if we could just take a second guys and put on the apron, so to speak, and I know that some dads cook and you know, I don't know what what roles your wife plays, but if we could just get outside of ourselves, it's one of the greatest gifts that God's given us is the ability to step outside of ourselves. And if we can do that, we can also look at others and maybe try to step into their shoes if you will. And, guys, I would love for you to think about who your wife is, think about who your mom is, or other moms that you know that you Want to recognize today? Think about the things that they carry on a day to day basis. Think about the roles that they are, I mean their mom, but they're also other roles there their job. You know, maybe they cook clean, maybe they do the finances. There's a number of things that they may do. And we want to stop and be thankful for those things. I was thinking about Paul and how Paul, when he wrote to Timothy, he was writing a letter to Timothy. He recognized the significant role that Timothy's mother and her mother Timothy's grandmother, significant role that they played in his life, namely the faith and that's another thing that moms do is they teach us to love Jesus and Something that's crazy is that I remember being on mission trips before going into churches and being mostly women and children. And God's army is made up of many, many women and children. And then it's neat here even from the very beginning, the role that women played in the kingdom of God and investing in Timothy's life anyway, this is another thing that moms do. And so we just want to like step in that their skin today and from their point of reference, and appreciate them today. So the next thing you do so once you once you thank them, you actually, you're trying to become grateful so that you can thank them was behind it. I mean, it's good to say honey, thank you, Mom, thank you and that that's worth something but it's worth much more When you actually think about why you're thankful and you communicate that and and that will really bless them another thing that you can do for your wife, for your mom for others if you want to bless them today is to listen to them and the Lord's really putting his finger on me about this right now because I feel like that I've failed somewhat in this area especially with my kids. Um instead of just seeking to understand sometimes I am a little too quick to give my input and and when it comes to are those that we love those were close to. If we want to connect with them, that's the goal of ours. ship's ride is connection. If we want to connect, and then we've got to hear them if we want to know them, then we have to understand them. And if you want to bless your wife, you want to bless your mom. Listen to them. And here's a little tip for you. Oh, I'm sorry. This is actually a quote by Adam young, whom I really love his stuff, check out his podcast, if you have any interest in getting your pain healed, but uh, Adam young says the presence of an attuned listener leads to changes in one's limbic brain. There's even a neurobiology to us, listening in like, like taking in another person. And this is one way that you can really serve your wife, the mother of your Children are your mom is to is to listen to them, let them be heard dads, look, sometimes sometimes we can be boneheads, okay? Because we're trying to solve a problem that they're not communicating. But if we slow down and listen, then we can actually get to something that's real. Here's the deal, and all problem solving. If we don't understand what the real problem is, then we'll never solve the real problem. We'll solve other things that we think of the problem, because we're not listening because we think we know. So here's the point that I want to give to you is your goal is to listen, to understand, not to agree. And this can go for any, any relationship, any person, for you to know where they are, to understand them, Listen, and your goal is to is to actually get why They're saying one way you can do that is using a little thing that that I've heard called ping pong. Like you, they say something to you and you kind of say it back to them. And that's like they say it's like ping you say it back to them. That's Pong in there, they say it back again. Because usually, you think you understand you communicate it back and they're, they're not immediately like, yes, you get it. But they're more like, yeah, it's like that, except this and this. And anyway, if you can ping pong back and forth, and though if you get to what's called shared meaning, and you know, you've truly understood something when you achieve shared meaning. And that's where what you mean or what your wife means, and what you understand our our together that they're there. resonance that comes with that. And so listen to understand, not to agree, you don't have to agree with what they're saying, to be able to understand what they're saying. And understanding is like the starting point of all problem solving, right? You got to know what the problem is the real problem. And with that, let me just say, Don't Don't be a bonehead. You can change. Here's the deal. Proverbs 14 eight says, the wisdom of the prude is to give thought their ways. But the folly of fools is deception. I know, with my experience, and this is just me thinking about my own life. It's easy for me to default think already know. And I think people tend to do that we just tend to think that we already know we tend to we thin slice it on and what I mean by that is we just grab a little piece of information, and we all we assume that we already know what they mean or we know or we're either Listening to reply instead of to understand, we're just trying to think of the next thing we're going to say. But the wisdom of the wise is that they give thought to their own ways, and then the folly of fools. In other words, the thing that makes the wisdom of the prudent means the things that make the prudent wise. The The thing that makes a wise person wise is they give thought to their ways, the things they do their script, the script that they live by every day. But the folly of fools is deception. In other words, we can lie to ourselves and that is the that is our folly, if we continue doing things that are not helping us, but hurting us And so anyway, there's number two, and then what you can do after you've listened well then you're actually able to help and so by listening and let's just break this down to today. If you want to for Mother's Day, Trying to be great communicate, thank you. Watch what happens when you're communicating gratitude towards your wife or others when you communicate and that is actually going to open them up to communicate with you on a deeper level communication. That's your opportunity to understand. And once you understand well then you can heal in I know for men and husbands most of the time, what we want to do is we want to heal. But and so you can, but this is your opportunity, but make sure that you do after you've been grateful and after you've listened. That way your hope is, is an intelligent application of hell. So that's my fault for today people. And that's really it. And moms, we want to know that we appreciate you. Husbands, thank your wives. Thank your mom's listen to And you single moms out there, we want you to know that we appreciate you, you play the role in many cases, a mom and dad, and the Lord sees it, he sees it all. And, and he appreciates what you do. And you know, remember that you guys can call each other, no single mom, reach out to them and say, Hey, thank you for what you're doing for your kids and kids. If any kids are, do listen to this, say it to your moms and dads. And then we have a lot of young families in our church. That's a big, you know, section of what we have. And so my encouragement is for you to guys to thank your mom and dad. So what I want to do now is we're going to pray together, we're gonna say the Lord's Prayer. And as we pray, I just want to encourage you to enjoy Enter into this with me. And man I really during the this Coronavirus during the COVID-19 or quarantine rather, um, I've really began to embrace the phrase that Jesus taught us to pray where he said give us our daily bread. And I've really been trying to enter into that phrase and it says very short phrase in the prayer that Jesus taught us to pray. But praying that prayer I think it will. It just reminds us that God Okay, I'm not worried about tomorrow I'm worried about today. But the Lord has given me a key is to ask him for daily bread for today. And that daily bread can be the money that we need for today. And it also can be literally revelation from him there Ramo the bread he said, he is the bread of life. So the the part of him that we need for that day, so you ready this person Together nice little setting here. Jesus said this is then how you should pray. Let's pray together. Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. And Jesus name Lord do it. Do it, Laura. Thank you, Amy. All right. Well, listen. Don't forget to send in your tithes and offerings at the oaks.org slash giving and thank you. For those of you who've been faithful there, we really appreciate it and weren't covenant you know, with the Lord. I know I think of that as Lord during this time. It's not been easy. The Lord I'm, I'm in covenant with you I'm connected to your economy in takes an amount of four to four weeks give that's gmv and you can also send it in to the church 20 to one executive part Dr. Bullock, Alabama 36801. Thanks to our contributors and real quick This for our kids. Let me just say this. The things that I shared today for the moms want to encourage you, especially the part about listening, from our experiences with our own kids, but also with the school, the old school. The this time it's affected kids in different ways. Some of them are doing real well with it and others. It's been, it's been pretty tough on. I don't encourage you to practice what I was sharing today by listening to your kids. All right. Well, now, I want to end today by declaring a blessing. This is a blessing from Psalm 115. And this blessing is for moms. And it mentions people and their children. So moms Want to just declare this over you and also over everyone else that's listening. Let me just say this. Hang on just one sec. I gotta get my right musica. There we go. There we go. All right. The Lord remembers us and will bless us. He will bless those who fear the LORD, small and great ally. Here you go. May the Lord make you increase both you and your children may you be blessed by the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth and I bless you and may the Lord bless you and keep you And make his face shine on you and turn to you and be gracious to you and give you his peace are Bless you. Have an amazing Sunday. Enjoy the sunny weather. And we love you. And we'll see you hear next week and we hope to see you in person really soon. Take care. Happy Mother's Day

Transcribed by https://otter.ai